Sadako's Diary
by Shaman-Yami
Summary: I originally uploaded this with chapters, but it looked bad. So here is Sadako's diary as a OneShot. If I get enough reviews then I will continue up to Sadako's death.


Hey! I originally added this as each extract being one chapter. But it was too short. I'm sorry for the shortness of this story, but I wrote it for my A level English course, and it can only be 1500 words long. Please enjoy, and review.

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in this story belong to the author Koji Suzuki, and the respective film companies.

**Sadako's Diary**

December 25th 1953

Dear Diary

My name is Sadako, and I am six years old. I just got you as a present for Christmas from my Grandmother Hisa, and I am happy. I have a diary to write how I feel in now. I live with my mother in Tokyo. I love my mother, and we are happy together. Her name is Shizuko, and she's very beautiful. Mother tells me that she is going to bring a baby brother for me to play with. I wonder where he'll be from. We also live with a man called Ikuma. He is my father, but I don't tell anybody because, he's not very nice. I didn't used to live with them. I used to live with my Grandmother Hisa in Oshima. I love my Grandmother very much. I remember her telling me that I was going to have a child but when I asked her why she had said it a couple of years later she said she hadn't said anything like that to me. It wouldn't be possible any way. I am not like other girls.

I must go, mother is calling.

Sadako

March 13th 1954

Dear Diary

Mother has found my brother. She said he came as a gift from the sea. She said his name is 'Keitaro', which she said means 'Blessed', which we really are. Keitaro Yamamura. He's so perfect in every way, with his ten little fingers and ten little toes. I can't wait till he's old enough to play with me. I don't have any friends, so it will be nice to play with someone other then myself. We'll have so much fun together. Mother says I should thank Ikuma for helping her find my brother. I guess Ikuma can be nice sometimes.

I think I'll go thank Ikuma now. I guess I owe him a lot at the moment.

Sadako

July 10th 1954

Dear Diary

I can't believe it. I just cannot believe it. Why is life so mean? Why must we given something so pretty and perfect, only to have it taken away again? My mother got out of bed this morning, and went to Keitaro's room. But he was limp and lifeless. His lips were blue and his skin was cold. I was woken by my mother's screams and the sound of Ikuma running to the phone to call the doctor. The doctor spoke with lots of long words that I didn't know but I knew the words 'cot' and 'death', and I also heard him spell S-I-D-S. So a man called Sid has entered my brother's room and hurt him in his cot. I will get this man; he took away my Keitaro-chan. I just want him back, and then we can tell mother everything is fine. Mother and I have been crying a lot today. Ikuma does not cry. Ikuma is mean. Ikuma didn't want Keitaro-chan anyway; he used to make Keitaro cry when he took mother away for more strange tests.

We've built a little altar with Keitaro's picture on it, to remind us everyday of what we have lost. It hurts to see his lovely brown eyes stare out at me as I walk past his altar. We lighted many incense sticks around it in his memory, and now the room smells of cherry blossom. Keitaro loved cherry blossom.

Our blessing has left us forever. Life is so mean.

Sadako

October 18th 1955

Dear Diary

Poor mother. She wants so much to be normal. Ever since she was young, just a little bit older then me she's had something inside of her, which made her different. I'm different too, but in much more ways then my mother. I want to be a normal woman, but that will never be.

My mother has sunk deep in to depression, and I'm beginning to wonder if she will ever be the same woman she was before Kaitaro-chan died. Ikuma is doing nothing to help mother. He seems blind to her pain. All he cares about is proving that the curse that lingers above my mother is real. Today he made a mistake that I will never ever forgive him for. He humiliated my mother. Ikuma! The one person she loves and trusts above me (and Kaitaro-chan of course). He made her do this big test in front of lots of men with note pads and pens. Ikuma told me they wrote for the newspaper, and if they liked my mother then we would live in happiness forever. I can't be happy if my mother isn't happy though. And she looked very unhappy as she climbed on that stage. Mother knew she was going to fail before she even went up there. The test was simple enough. She had to guess what the numbers on some dice that were hidden inside a steel tin. I decided to do the test too; then I would feel like I was helping. But I couldn't understand. Why was I guessing the numbers right and my mother wasn't? We always play this game, and we always get them right. She kept fidgeting and rubbing her hands together, and she seemed so scared.

The men didn't like her. They started to shout nasty words at my mother, telling Ikuma that she was a 'fraud' and a 'fake'. Mother cried, Ikuma shouted and I worried. Mother doesn't need this pain. Those horrible men were expecting a miracle, but my mother is just one woman. No one person can perform miracles.

Sadako

January 3rd 1956

Dear Diary

Well, here I am, on a boat heading home to Oshima. Everything has been a great strain on my mother, and I think it was about time we left Tokyo and our troubled past behind us. As well as a certain man who ruined our lives. I managed to convince my mother to go back to Oshima, stating that I missed the sea air and my Grandmother. It took awhile to bring her round to the idea, but I managed to win her over in the end.

Mother has been very quiet recently. Ever since the big test in front of those men she has seemed really upset, almost mad. I heard someone whisper the word 'senile'… I wonder what that means. She has taken to standing in front of a mirror for hours on end, just brushing her hair and smiling. I try to talk to her, but it's like she blocks the world out when she is doing this.

We are cursed. Cursed to never be happy, and cursed to never be normal. My mother cursed for having all this bad luck, from Keitaro-chan's death, to the nasty men at the test. I am cursed to always be denied the right to reproduce. I would so want to have a child of my own one day, but I can't, because I am abnormal.

Still, this can be the start of a whole new beginning for my mother and I. We can finally be happy. I'm looking forward to seeing my Grandmother again, and mothers nice friend, Genji. We can be happy again. It's just going to take time.

Sadako

March 14th 1956

Dear Diary

It's my fault. It's just all my fault! I'm the reason Keitaro died, I'm the reason that I'm abnormal, and it's my fault that that my mother is… is… dead! I can't take it anymore, why does the world continue to hound me? Have I done evil things? I may not be normal, and I may have crazy talents, like being able to predict things like volcano eruptions. Volcano's… I hate them. They are my mother's downfall. She threw herself in to the molten lava of Mount Mihara. It hurts to think that I was not enough to keep her in this world, and that the pain of everything that has happened has caused her to break down and throw herself in to the local volcano, on the anniversary of Keitaro's birthday. I thought she loved me, but obviously not as much as Keitaro.

Ikuma has been contacted because my mother had left a suicide letter indicating what will happen to her 'things'. She left me in the possession of Ikuma. I know I'm in no danger of moving to live with Ikuma, because he is currently being treated for pneumonia in hospital, after foolishly trying to meditate under a waterfall in below zero temperatures. I feel like an object, a doll that nobody wants. I'm hoping that will let me move in with mother's kind friend, Genji. But Ikuma hates Genji, because he knows Genji loved my mother. So I think I am going to end up moving in to the Yanamura villa with my uncle and aunt. What's that? Why can't I live with my Grandmother again? She apparently died peacefully in her sleep many months ago. My mother was overcome with grief when she found out. I was just angry… why had nobody informed us?! Maybe that is what pushed my mother over the edge. It is so hard to lose ones mother in time of need, I know, I'm living it. Maybe I should follow my mother's example.

I love my mother, I just wonder if she ever loved me.

Sadako


End file.
